Had the opportunity to play a couple of songs for an elderly-appreciation event at church, today.  Only had a week to figure out what songs I’d play… and how the arrangement would go.  The performance itself was pretty terrible.  Pretty dry… missed notes… boring rhythm.  I remembered why I kind of hate the piano, in some ways, and why I haven’t played it for a long time.  But more… I remembered how I both hate and love performing.

I hate performing because I will never perform perfectly.  And I love performing because of the attention.  I don’t want attention, though.  It’s kind of hypocritical.  My self wants attention… but my spirit is desiring to change; to not desire attention for my own sake… or at all.

Anyway, I hate performing.  And I feel sorry for the listeners who were in the audience, today. 🙂  Good thing it’s not all about me, anyway.  Glad to have the chance to spend a little time with people who often go unnoticed.